


Coming Down

by SonjaBlayde



Category: Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-09
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-08 02:24:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1127252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaBlayde/pseuds/SonjaBlayde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Phil checks Twitter/Tumblr/Youtube comments, all he sees is hate. He can’t take it anymore</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Down

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this while listening to “Coming Down” by Five Finger Death Punch.

Phil doesn’t know why he keeps on checking his twitter, comments on Youtube, or the amazingphil tag on Tumblr. All he sees is hate. There were some positive things but for every one or two positives, they were covered up with like 20 or 30 hate comments. He checked his twitter and noticed that someone sent him a link. He regretted clicking the link. It brought up a “I Hate AmazingPhil” Tumblr blog. He didn’t know why he just didn’t click it off, he just scrolled through.

How can people be so mean and disgusting? They don’t know him personally. Of course you got the cliche comments like people calling him a fag, ugly, or how people thought that Dan was much more attractive than Phil. However, one stick out the most.

_'Why can't Phil just kill himself? The world would be better off without him.' ___

Why would someone wish death on someone? That’s very cruel, especially if they don’t know him. Phil starts tearing up, closes his laptop and tosses it on the other side of his bed. He gets off his bed and starts breathing heavily, starting to cry a lot harder.

 

He goes to his closet and starts chucking his clothes out.  
"Where is it?" Phil says in between sobs. Once he was unsuccessful trying to find whatever in his closet, he looks under his bed. "Where is it?" He repeats. He opens his dresser drawer and he finally found what he was looking for. He took out a small grey box.

He sits back down on his bed, opens the box to reveal a small blade. It’s been awhile since he last cut himself. He rolls up his sleeve, takes the blade out of the box and places it on his arm. He thinks for a moment, maybe having second thoughts, but seeing that hate blog flashes through his brain. He slowly makes a cut in his arm and in an instant, blood drips from his arm but seems like that isn’t enough, so he makes another mark and another. There’s a small crimson stain on his sheet.

Once he thinks he feels good enough, he walks to the bathroom to clean himself up. He shuts the door and locks himself in so Dan doesn’t see him in the condition he’s in. He turns on the sink but he stares himself in the mirror. The comments he saw earlier flash back through his brain.

_Fag, Ugly, Go Kill Yourself._

He sobs harder and he can’t take it anymore and he ends up punching the mirror.  
"Phil?" Dan calls from the other room. "Phil what was that? Are you okay?" Phil doesn’t respond. He can’t let Dan know what he’s done.

Just then, he hears a knock on the door. “Phil, what was that noise?” Dan asked

"It was…it was nothing." Phil said, still tearing up.

"It sounded more than just-"

"Just leave me alone!" Phil interrupted.  
"Phil, what is wrong? What’s going on?" Phil doesn’t respond. He puts his head in his hands and just cries even harder. Dan here’s him sobbing "Phil are you…are you crying?" Dan asks. Just then the door flies open and Phil just runs out. "Where are you going?" Phil doesn’t answer and instead just runs out the house.

Phil doesn’t know where he’s going, he just runs. He runs wherever his legs will take him. He is crying hysterical but at this point, he doesn’t care who sees him. He keeps on running for a few minutes until he stops at a bridge. His eyes are red from all the crying he’s done. His tears dried up so he probably can’t cry anymore. He hunches over, hands on his knees, panting, trying to catch his breath. He wonders how far he ran.

He slowly walks up to the side of the bridge and just stares off into the sky. He thinks about the comments again from that hate blog. One comment stood out in particular.

_'Why can't Phil just kill himself? The world would be better off without him.'_

"Maybe they are right." He thinks out loud. "Maybe the world is better off without me. They obviously like Dan more than me." He thinks about that specific comment before he takes a step on the ledge of the bridge. He just stands on the ledge for a few moments as he feels the wind breeze him a little. He raised his arms, closes his eyes and just falls.

"PHIL, NO!" was the last thing Phil heard.  
****************************************************************************************

Dan shakes his head from the thought of what might happen to Phil. How long has he been standing there, thinking? What if Phil was actually gonna commit suicide? When that thought came across his mind, Dan ran out the door to search for Phil. It was just a thought but he decided to check the bridge it see if Phil was actually there.

From time and time again, Dan says he isn’t one of the fittest guys but he’s amazed at how fast he was running. He finally reaches to the bridge and his judgement was right. There was Phil, standing on the ledge of the bridge, ready to jump.

"PHIL, NO!" Dan shouts. He starts running towards Phil as he starts falling down. Dan made it to the ledge just in time and grabbed onto Phil arm. With all the strength he had, Dan starts pulling Phil back up. "Dan let me go!" Phil shouts.

"No, I’m not losing you." Dan responds. "I’m not gonna lose my best friend." Dan manages to finally pull Phil all the way up and back over the ledge. He tries to hug Phil but Phil keeps on swatting him away until he just let’s Dan hug him. Phil starts sobbing into Dan’s chest. "Ssshh, it’s okay. I’m right here." Dan tries to console Phil, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

They stood like that until Phil calms down a little, sniffling.  
"Phil, why would you try to kill yourself?" Dan finally asks.  
"I’m sick of all the hate, Dan." Phil says. "Someone even linked me a Tumblr hate blog dedicated to me. They said that the world would be a better place without me and I believed it."

"Why would you listen to them?" Dan asked. "If anything, they are a bunch of twats." That made Phil chuckle a little. "I don’t want you to kill yourself, Phil. You’re my best friend and I wouldn’t know what to do without you. Look at me." Phil looks at Dan, wiping his tears off. "Promise me you won’t think about hurting or try to kill yourself." Phil nods.

"I promise." Phil responds. They hug again for a few minutes. They broke apart from the hug, Dan slinging his arm around Phil’s shoulder and start walking back to their flat.


End file.
